At this moment in time, my head hurts, the things I’m hearing right now. They are out of this world. This world is a shitty place. People just like using other people. No one and I mean no one would want to be with someone who lies and cheats. How is someone justified in being with two people at the same time? There is no explanation. You can’t love two people at the same time.
If you can’t seem to give one or the other up, than that is on you. And you aren’t in love with either of them. It is just that you like having those two hanging on to you. You are the sort of person who gives hope to other people. So like I said in one of my previous posts. You should know your mind. Any arrangements that you think that you have, might not exactly be an arrangement. It might you taking the person along for a ride.
Yes I am rambling. This is the page where I get to ramble. So people who might not like what I am saying, should leave. I know I’m sorry I’m usually such a jerk. And I usually am a nice person. Well I try to be. I have to start minimizing the use of the word there to start my sentences. I have been through hell since last night. It’s been so bad that I have a headache. I can’t seem to eat or sleep. Couldn’t sleep even a bit last night. It was that bad. I just wanted to scream and shout at the one person who made it so bad that I can’t keep any food down.
I know for the past some time I have come off as being alright. I have come a long way from the wreck I was previously. But see, there is always this one chink in the armor that someone with sharp eyes can see. And then they are able to pick at it and pick at it, till the armor breaks down. Bloody Fuckers. Yes I am swearing the shit out today. Even though honestly if you people hear me swear in real life, you will laugh your head off. I do it in a very funny manner, and no one is able to take me seriously when I swear. And then it makes me laugh also.
A very good friend of mine, has a habit of asking very tough questions. He is always able to sense when I am not alright. And writing this, I completely forgot what I wanted to tell you lot about. So yes, there is that too, that I have lost half of my brain completely. I can’t seem to remember even the smallest stuff. There is so much pain inside of me that I can’t seem to know what to say or do. There is nothing that I would want most than be a part of someone’s world. I want to be someone’s world. I don’t think that’s hard to ask. And there is nothing in this world that I would want than a guy who could sweep me off my feet.
I know I might be a bit too heavy to sweep off my feet. Lol. Yes it is true. But someone who is there for me. Who goes out of his way to spend time with me and talk to me? There is not much I want from a guy. Just that I want to be able to depend on him and know he will always be there. There isn’t much that a guy can do for that I can’t already for myself. So just someone who is looking for a girl who will give her best to the guy whose willing to give his best. Let me know my peeps.
As always writing this out, has made me feel a little better. So just to let you all know. Its yoga time.
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